[Blog written in Tag-lish]
I don’t know who made pauso of the following hashtags:
- #mondaymantra - good way to start the week
- #transformationtuesday - oh, show us what you’ve got to inspire us
- #____wednesday_____??? – oops, i don’t know what matches this day, please enlighten me?!
- #throwbackthursday – let’s go to the memory lane!
- #fashionfriday - callin’ the fashionista’s in the house, yeah!
But to the one who invented this, THANK YOU for making our instagram posts (and other social networking) a bit more exciting..
Supposedly, it’s a #fashionfriday but I’d rather write something about #forgivingfriday. After my latest trip in Rome, sympre ‘Pagoda Philippines’ lang ang peg ko and I still have to complete my work backlogs, household chores which includes unpacking my travel bag (thank God my husband does the laundry and ironing, really THANK YOU LORD) and all the other things that come in between. But what really caught my attention was this buzz that created tension amongst people who are close to us ni Mark. Have you ever experienced being sooooo nice to someone then all of a sudden that person will talk behind your back? Will make kwento about you? Will accuse you of saying things you never even said on the first place? I’m sure all of us can relate. But how ’bout experiencing this not just once but twice or paulit ulit nalang especially after moving on from the first pain that the same person caused? Kung baga, there’s round 2 and 3 and 4 and so on! Can relate again? Well, aside from playing Candy Crush late at night – yan lang naman ang nagpapuyat sa’min ng asawa ko recently. Like Lady Gaga said, people will always talk. Yes, true. And spoken words can either bless or curse. Words can either mend or break relationships. Eh what if nasaktan ka talaga? And the real question is – how do we deal with it?
1. Double A’s: Admit and Accept. My mom reminded me about these verbs few weeks ago (we were chatting over Skype and as you know, we have a super close mother-daughter-relationship). I was also going through nakakainis na moments that time and told her that, “ayoko na ma isipin kasi magkaka-wrinkles lang ako!” and she said, that’s one way of dealing it with but I have to admit and accept my true feelings first – that nasasaktan ako, naiinis ako, nagagalit ako rather than running away or covering it up with whatever beauty regimen or something like pangpalimot na activity. We are humans. We have emotions. Instead of covering up what’s really inside, the best parin talaga ang magpaka-totoo. So in this week’s recent buzz – I admitted and accepted – hindi talaga ako natuwa sa ginawa ng tao na yun. I’m really nainis and nasaktan.
2. Pray and meditate. My mom also reminded me that I can tell everything to God about my true feelings. I can tell Him – Lord, naiinis talaga ako. Nagagalit talaga ako. Pde na sya maging scriptwriter! And I did. Sympre I didn’t pray na sana kunin na sya ni Lord. Hindi pa naman ganung level ang galit ko. I prayed and lifted all the hurts, negative emotions and funny thoughts (really, nakakatawa if naaaalala ko) to Him. John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”. Only God can give us the inner peace in the midst of the paninira and kalituhan ng ibang tao that causes us pain. Praying with my husband also helps, afterall, iisa nalang kami. Ang galing talaga ni Lord kasi when I opened my online bible yesterday, the word for that day was – Ephesians 4:31,32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slader, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you”. Okay, Lord - para sa’kin ito. Kat, meditate on this.
3. Choosing your battle. As my friend mentioned in her blog, harboring anger will just lead you to downhill. Praying and God’s word will enlighten on which battle we’d choose to fight. Over the years, I learned that I let some situations pull me down and dwelt on those for long when in fact, it wasn’t my battle. Nakiki-ride lang sa inis and galit. Lol. Like sometimes kasi we became like sponges (alam mo yung panghugas ng plato for those na walang dishwashers) and absorb all the wet stuff when we could’ve just drained all those nasty vibes instead. In effect, we kinda feel lost (talunan) kahit minsan nakaganti na ta’yo kasi at the end, it wasn’t really meant for us. Di pala tayo dapat gumanti. Di pala dapat tayo nag-isip na ng kung ano ano against the person. Dapat pala I go back muna to steps 1 and 2. There are things that only you and the Lord can deal with. If you are going through pain and hurt, remember, the battle is the Lord’s and He’ll not fail so stop acting like talunan or praning. Lol.
4. Confront and Talk. To others, this could be the hardest part. Well to others, ito ang favourite nila, ang confrontation. Lol. Anong petsa na? Lahat tayo tumatanda and we have to face situations in a matured way. There are instances that we really have to talk to the people who caused us pain whether sinadya nila or hindi. This buzz I was talking about ended last night with the other people who got involved after the four of us talked. Sympre hindi pa tapos kasi yung taong nag-cause ng tension through imbentong words is still out of the country and that’s going to take place on a separate confrontation. But I’m a believer of lahat naaayos sa magandang usapan and of course, God’s grace is sufficient enough to surpass all these trials. In life, dumadating talaga sa buhay ng tao ang hindi pagkakasundo or pagkakaunawaan and I pray that may God give us the wisdom as we talk to the people involve. During the confrontation, be true and honest as Proverbs 27:5 say, open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. This is also the best time to ask forgiveness (apologise) from each other (please see item no.5). One of my key takeaways as well is to keep the issue amongst the involved people only so that no other party can join the bandwagon unless you consulted a trusted person to mediate if ganun na kalala ang situation. I know I’m writing about it now but in respect to this, I didn’t want to mention in particular who’s who behind the heartbreaking issues. Just sharing my learnings :-)
5. Humility. When I was in Rome with Jericho Rosales, one of the things I picked up from him was the word humility (aside from his expression, “rock n roll“). As mentioned in my previous post, there was an incident na kahit hindi na sya ang may kasalanan at pa-pam-pam lang yung ibang tao, he was the one the one who apologised. When we were in the car, he kinda mentioned na in those situations, you can feel there’s pride in those people and the best way to approach it is by exchanging those with humility. That’s the star of Pangako Sa’yo that swept billions of viewers worldwide who’s saying that ah. How much more when the Lord of lords said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they’re doing”. Thank You Jesus for setting a good example.
6. Let go and move on. Forgiving involves letting go and moving on. Gasgas na gasgas na but still, easier said than done. Pero seriously, we cannot walk towards the path that God wants us to if we just don’t let go of the excess baggage such as hurt, pain, anger, bitterness and other negative vibes. Imagine running a race pero pasan mo ang buong daigdig dahil sa inis sa mga taong who did you wrong. Mahirap diba?! Minsan nakaka-pangit pa. It may not come instantly that’s why we need to admit and accept, pray, choose our battles and confront and talk to the people involved. Moreover, I believe that we also have to let go of those people na makukulit na paulit ulit nalang tayong sinasaktan even after natin silang makausap. Maybe they have their own excess baggage and sometimes it’s not really for you to carry. Sometimes kasi we worry too much na if we let go these people, pano na sila? Like my mom would tell me, God is good. Philippians 1:6, He who began a good work would be faithful to complete it. So si Papa God na ang bahala muna sa kanila as we keep our distance. Better we forgive then continue with our walk and let God restore whatever is lost. Or minsan, if talagang wala naman talagang kwenta ang nakakainis na issue that accidentally caught our attention, D-E-D-M-A-T-O-L-O-G-Y nalang and let’s fix our eyes unto Jesus. Kaya nga we have to choose our battles. We have to FORGIVE not just on a friday but ideally everyday.
Ang life parang showbiz lang yan. There are times na paguusapan ka lagi ng tao. Sometimes you’d feel that the world is unfair for judging you, for cursing you or for causing negative emotions within you. So I’d like to end this with this quote from Mother Theresa (I also mentioned this in my previous post as well):
Have a blessed weekend guys.
Peace and love xxx